Archive for April, 2009

We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

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As a child, cinema revolving around dinosaurs was the pinnacle of cool. Jurassic Park, terrifying as it was to me at that age, never ceased to wow me with the amazing effects and beautiful dinos. At such an age, I was thoroughly convinced that dinosaurs were real. How else would they be able to create a movie such as that?

Not too long after, my parents introduced me to a charming animated film called We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story. I grew obsessed with it, and what do you do when you’re obsessed with something as a child? You fawn for every single piece of merchandise under the sun. I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I did get the game based on the movie. Nowadays, this might sound like a not-so-exciting prospect, but this was at a time where games adapted from movies were often good.

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We’re Back! tells the story of dinosaurs who were fed “Brain Grain” cereal, causing them to grow docile and intelligent. As smart dinosaurs are prone to do, they leapt through time and landed in our era, where they traversed New York City and granted wishes for children. There is, of course, plenty of conflict and romance, but I will withhold from spoiling any of that, and it’s all kind of moot anyways given how poorly it translates to the game.

In terms of gameplay, We’re Back! is a platformer of the most straightforward variety. You jump over gaps, you fight enemies, you collect things, you travel right the entire time. In no way is this a bad thing, though. Simplicity tends to lend itself well to games that are adapted from a film, and that is certainly the case here. 

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The media wants you to think that dinosaurs are heartless creatures who have it out for you. This is pure slander, though, and We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story wants you to know that. Should you ever see a dinosaur, run to it. When you’re face to face with it, close your eyes and make a wish. I’m not a believer in magic, but dinosaurs have an untapped element of divination within them that is begging to be used.

Flash Game: Dino Run

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

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If I had to choose THE best dinosaur related flash game to EVER be made (trust me, I haven’t played many), I would probably have to go with PixelJam’s Dino Run. This cute little side-scrolling platformer has an extremely simple gameplay concept - all you have to do is run away from the giant fiery tornado wall, in turn saving your species from extinction. Your little yellow velociraptor only neeeds your arrow keys to control him, up is jump, and left/right are to run in each direction.

One of the best parts of the game is the art style. It seems like every game these days has a pixelated look (which is not a bad thing, at all), but I feel like PixelJam pulls it off especially well with Dino Run. You really get a sense of speed and urgency with the quickly moving graphics. I don’t think that this game could have been pulled off if a different game company developed the game.

If you’re in the mood for some fast paced, indy dino running action, check out Dino Run, like now. You really won’t regret it.

Go Diego Go - Great Dinosaur Rescue (DS)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

‘Go Diego Go! - Great Dinosaur Rescue’ is, as I’m sure you can guess, a game based around Diego (beloved cousin of Dora the Explorer) embarking on adventure to rescue a dinosaur.

The dinosaur in question is a Maiasaurus named Maia, she has been separated from her family and is lost on an island. Diego does the heroic thing and helps her traverse land and sea to get her back to her family.

Completion of the game took me about half an hour, and then a subsequent five minutes to look at the extra things in the ‘Museum’. The game itself is made up of 23 mini games based on seven core games, each of which are shown in the video:

  • Taking a photo of a dinosaur (use D-Pad to look around, tap the screen when you see a dinosaur)
  • Following footprints (tapping the correct footprints to follow the trail)
  • Making a noise/saying a phrase in Spanish (easily achieved by blowing into the mic)
  • Dragging objects to or from an area on the bottom screen (classic stylus dragging action)
  • Jigsaw (Jigsaw)
  • Guiding Mya up or down to avoid obstacles (Like a shmup, but without weapons, speed, death, enemies)
  • Tapping certain colours/footprints (Just tapping what you see on the top screen)

Looking at the game from a strictly dinosaur viewpoint, it is very impressive. There are lots of dinosaurs (albeit in cartoon format only), and they are all named appropriately.
You can control dinosaurs occasionally in the minigames, but only to a point. There is sadly no free-roaming control that enables you to eat Diego, the terrible little boy that he is.

Don’t even get me started on Diego! Just because he saves animals he thinks he’s entitled to force children to learn his language. Throughout the game he will talk to you(r child) in Spanish and get them to repeat phrases into the mic. Now these phrases aren’t even explained, you are just told to blindly repeat them. They could mean anything at all! This is the worst kind of education, the forced kind.

Looking at the game from a strictly non-dinosaur viewpoint, I can assure you that it is rubbish.
As I previously mentioned, I finished it within half an hour. This coming from a game that costs twelve of England’s finest from Amazon! It makes me sick.

Here is a video to give you a sample of the glorious gameplay that you experience with this game:

Now I’m fully aware of the fact that the game is aimed for young children, and not at my age range, and so I would have likely finished it quicker than the target audience…HOWEVER! - The young children that this game is aimed at are at such a young age that they should not be using a Nintendo DS, they should be
spending time with…heaven forbid….their parents!

The cartoon show it’s based on, the puzzles themselves, the attitude of the game, it’s all aimed at children that should be learning with their parents, building a bond together. Not spending time sat with a gaming system with a fiddly stylus that they can choke on.

The only way that this game would be acceptable would be if the parents sat with the child and helped them play it.

Long story short, if you’re not a child, or a massive fan or Diego, then you’ve got to really -and I mean REALLY- like dinosaurs to enjoy this game.

Dino-Score:

8/10 - Very good at teaching young children the greatness of dinosaurs

Game Score:

2/10 - Too much of an obvious money-making device. Get the Wii version instead, you get more for your money.

Dino Crisis (PS1)

Friday, April 17th, 2009

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The survival horror genre is not exactly renowned for being realistic. For years scary games revolved around people getting trapped in a mansion and being pursued by something frightening. Finally, though, the genre was blessed with the key ingredient needed to invigorate anything growing stale: dinosaurs.

Any survival horror fans out there are probably screaming “Dino Crisis! Dino Crisis!” and roaring a deep-pitched roar of bliss. I wouldn’t blame them, either. The Dino Crisis games are excellent for their portrayal of the hatred dinosaurs have for humans, and they serve as an excellent reminder for how much work we have left until humans and dinosaurs can finally coexist peacefully.

Dino Crisis tells the story of a Raid team visiting Ibis island to look into the intel they’ve received about a man called Doctor Edward Kirk developing heinous weapons.  When they arrive, they learn that a serious accident has occurred; causing a time rift that enables dinosaurs to travel to the present. This concept of time-traveling may remind some of you of Back to the Future, but you’ll be happy to know that the dinosaurs lack hover boards. 

The game relies on surprises as a scare mechanic, and it works incredibly well. Opening a door to find a raptor poised to attack is nothing short of terrifying, and the amount of times this happens never reduces the fear factor of it. Having entered many a room only to find a raptor ready and able to kill me, I can tell you with certainty that it never fails to send a chill down your spine. 

Interestingly enough, Dino Crisis, now ten years old, is meant to take place in the year 2009.  What better way to celebrate than by procuring a copy and playing through the game yourself? The graphics may be outdated, but there are few better ways to fill your urge for pixelated dinosaurs.

Flash Game: Dino Hunt

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

Hoo No !!!

I what I think is likely to become a regular part of DinoPad, I found another flash game I think you will… enjoy? Perhaps “enjoy” is a bit of a strong word, but it’s definitely a game and it definitely has dinosaurs in. Ok, it has dinosaurs in. And that’s good enough by my standards.

Play it here on NewGrounds, then let us know what you think.

What the heck IS Yoshi anyway?

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

We all know that Yoshi is a dinosaur, right? I mean, even his Wikipedia article states he is a “fictional Dinosaur”, but when I think of Yoshi, I don’t think of dinosaur, I think of just - Yoshi. It’s like over time, Yoshi has lost his Dinosaur image.

No, I retract that last statement. I don’t think that he was EVER a dinosaur to me. When I was a kid playing Super Mario World, I never said in my head, “I wish that I had a Yoshi Dinosaur to ride,” I always just said “I wish I had a real life Yoshi”. Like every other being in the Super Mario universe, he is his own thing.

You don’t call a Goomba a dog, or a Shy-Guy a hamster (save the Koopas, they’re turtles), you would call Yoshi a Yoshi.

Does this shortblog really make that much sense to you guys? Is Yoshi a dinosaur in your eyes, or will he alway be considered a part of the Yoshi species?

Flash Game: Robot Dinosaurs That Shoot Beams When They Roar ™

Monday, April 6th, 2009

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If there is one thing the world is crying out for more of it’s flash games with dinosaurs in. Thankfully, that call has been answered this morning with my discovery of Robot Dinosaurs That Shoot Beams When They Roar ™.

The mouse controlled Shmup puts you in control of one of two available jet pack wearing dinos; Tyrannosaurus X or Dinomite. These extra-terrestrial dinos have the ability to shoot beams when they roar, as one might expect from the title.

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Your objective is to avoid obstacles, pick up a power-up or two, shoot down your enemies and reach the end of the level to gain some much needed dinoforce.

Your main attack is your rawr, which shoots a beam of dino-destruction on any foes ahead. This uses up your rechargeable dino-beam power. The lower your power, the less damage your beam does and the less rawr you do.

Although depressingly short and only one level long, the game really is awesome. From the cheesy guitar shreads to the over the top dialogue, everything about this game requires some ill-fitting word to have the phrase “some”, “tastic” or “adical” attached to the end of it and used as an adjective.

A Foolish Endeavor

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

In the gaming culture, there are several games that are talked about so frequently as being terrible, they rise up to supernova status. E.T. for the Atari is one that comes to mind. Everyone has heard the rumors of its poor reception leading Atari to buy land in New Mexico in order to create a landfill and dispose of the excess copies. Superman 64 is another good example. Terrible controls synthesized with strict time constraints for missions ended up sending the game to the Island of Misfit Games.

There’s much joy to be had in the infamous, laughably terrible games that exist out there, but what happens when you sit down with the ambition of beating one of them?  I recently fired up a copy of Barney’s Hide and Seek in search of answers.

A journey more epic than the Oregon Trail itself

A journey more epic than the Oregon Trail itself

2:48 PM - The first thing I noticed is that you cannot pause the game. You press the start button, only to see Barney blowing a kiss. If you lie stagnant long enough, he begins what can only be described as a jig of happiness.

2:55 PM - I won’t lie. At this point I want nothing more than to give up. I have no idea what motivates me to carry forward. Perhaps it’s some ill-placed form of journalistic integrity, or just a product of masochism.

3:04 PM – I cannot even explain what just happened.

3:18 PM - Several levels have been completed now, but I’ve noticed no curve in difficulty. The linear format of the levels makes me yearn for the days of simplistic platformers, but it also makes me grimace  at such lazy design.

A truly unsettling moment of confrontation

A truly unsettling moment of confrontation

3:34 PM - I can’t tell if I’ve yet to even make progress. The levels blend together so much that it’s impossible to tell if I’m reaching the end of the game, or if I’ve been thrown into some Twilight Zone-esque void. Am I doomed to play hide and seek for the rest of my life?

3:47 PM - That’s it. I’m not progressing. I’m trapped. Paranoia is setting in, and an extremely unpleasant chill is running up my spine.

3:56 PM - A water level! I knew I was getting somewhere!

4:08 PM - Phone’s ringing, but I ignore it. There’s no time to mingle with friends, clients, or telemarketers. I’ve been given a mission, and I’d never forgive myself if I just gave up on it.

4:09 PM - Screw this. I quit.

Prehistoric Shock

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

I had heard whisperings of a game called Chrono Trigger. I’d never played it myself, and highly regret doing so, because I had never heard of it. It got to the point where I heard so much talk about it, I downloaded a NOT ROM for it and started playing it. I got well and truly stuck when it got to the future and then didn’t have any free time to continue playing. I had, however, enjoyed what I’d played a lot.

So, when Chrono Trigger DS was released I thought it obvious that I must get it so I can play it on the train, bus or even just at home. I’ve clocked well over 18 hours on it, leading to me sometimes playing my DS with it plugged into the mains to keep the batteries from dying. The shock came for me when I was transported back in time, with Chrono and his pals, to the Prehistoric era. You know what that means, right? DINOSAURS

It was a big shock to say the majority of the game you had been fighting demons, spirits and soliders to then be comfronted with a crapton of dinosaurs ambushing you as you just make your way around the world. I’d heard nothing of the game before reaching that area about any dinosaurs (OK, they’re technically lizards but they look like dinosaurs).

The bad thing is, the dinosaurs are evil. They’ve had such a hard time though. Destroyed by a stray meteor, being dug up today to be put on display and here, being portrayed as the evil overlords of a prehistoric human race. I mean, come on humans, the dinosaurs were here first.

You need skill to take down a number of these dinosaurs, otherwise you will get eaten. Working as a team is the only way to keep these beasts at bay, proving they are not the weaklings they appear to be.

He breathes fire! And hes huge!

He breathes fire! And he's huge!

A Jurassic Challenge

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

Frustration is an emotion gamers are very well-versed in. Since the very advent of games, there has been reason to want to break something in sheer anger. I’m sure many of us remember firing up a gaming console as a child, inserting a game, and enduring the age-old battle of convincing yourself not to throw the controller at a wall. One game that often comes to mind for me is Jurassic Park for the Sega Genesis. Sure, it’s a game based on a movie, but back then that wasn’t always a bad thing.

My parents loved Jurassic Park because it would often get me to go outside now and again. Whenever I played it, I’d reach a level of anger that could only be culled by the fresh air found outdoors. It wasn’t that the game was bad; it was just impossibly difficult for my yet-to-be-developed gaming skills. Or that’s the excuse I still tell myself.

At the very least, I enjoyed admiring the dinosaurs. Sure, they were roaming with the sheer intent of killing me, but the grace with which they constantly achieved this goal was worthy of my childish admiration. In fact, I often chose the option to play through the game as a raptor, which admittedly made the game a bit easier in the long run. Being a human is great and all, but fulfilling my childhood dream of being a dinosaur was not something I could easily refuse.

As mentioned before, Jurassic Park for the Sega Genesis is not a bad game. It’s campy in every sense of the word, but not without its charm. Perhaps the greatest part about Jurassic Park is the lesson it teaches to people everywhere: fighting dinosaurs is never an easy endeavor.

No caption needed for this picture to be enjoyed

No caption needed for this picture to be enjoyed