A Foolish Endeavor

Dant April 5th, 2009

In the gaming culture, there are several games that are talked about so frequently as being terrible, they rise up to supernova status. E.T. for the Atari is one that comes to mind. Everyone has heard the rumors of its poor reception leading Atari to buy land in New Mexico in order to create a landfill and dispose of the excess copies. Superman 64 is another good example. Terrible controls synthesized with strict time constraints for missions ended up sending the game to the Island of Misfit Games.

There’s much joy to be had in the infamous, laughably terrible games that exist out there, but what happens when you sit down with the ambition of beating one of them?  I recently fired up a copy of Barney’s Hide and Seek in search of answers.

A journey more epic than the Oregon Trail itself

A journey more epic than the Oregon Trail itself

2:48 PM - The first thing I noticed is that you cannot pause the game. You press the start button, only to see Barney blowing a kiss. If you lie stagnant long enough, he begins what can only be described as a jig of happiness.

2:55 PM - I won’t lie. At this point I want nothing more than to give up. I have no idea what motivates me to carry forward. Perhaps it’s some ill-placed form of journalistic integrity, or just a product of masochism.

3:04 PM – I cannot even explain what just happened.

3:18 PM - Several levels have been completed now, but I’ve noticed no curve in difficulty. The linear format of the levels makes me yearn for the days of simplistic platformers, but it also makes me grimace  at such lazy design.

A truly unsettling moment of confrontation

A truly unsettling moment of confrontation

3:34 PM - I can’t tell if I’ve yet to even make progress. The levels blend together so much that it’s impossible to tell if I’m reaching the end of the game, or if I’ve been thrown into some Twilight Zone-esque void. Am I doomed to play hide and seek for the rest of my life?

3:47 PM - That’s it. I’m not progressing. I’m trapped. Paranoia is setting in, and an extremely unpleasant chill is running up my spine.

3:56 PM - A water level! I knew I was getting somewhere!

4:08 PM - Phone’s ringing, but I ignore it. There’s no time to mingle with friends, clients, or telemarketers. I’ve been given a mission, and I’d never forgive myself if I just gave up on it.

4:09 PM - Screw this. I quit.

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Prehistoric Shock

Fusion April 3rd, 2009

I had heard whisperings of a game called Chrono Trigger. I’d never played it myself, and highly regret doing so, because I had never heard of it. It got to the point where I heard so much talk about it, I downloaded a NOT ROM for it and started playing it. I got well and truly stuck when it got to the future and then didn’t have any free time to continue playing. I had, however, enjoyed what I’d played a lot.

So, when Chrono Trigger DS was released I thought it obvious that I must get it so I can play it on the train, bus or even just at home. I’ve clocked well over 18 hours on it, leading to me sometimes playing my DS with it plugged into the mains to keep the batteries from dying. The shock came for me when I was transported back in time, with Chrono and his pals, to the Prehistoric era. You know what that means, right? DINOSAURS

It was a big shock to say the majority of the game you had been fighting demons, spirits and soliders to then be comfronted with a crapton of dinosaurs ambushing you as you just make your way around the world. I’d heard nothing of the game before reaching that area about any dinosaurs (OK, they’re technically lizards but they look like dinosaurs).

The bad thing is, the dinosaurs are evil. They’ve had such a hard time though. Destroyed by a stray meteor, being dug up today to be put on display and here, being portrayed as the evil overlords of a prehistoric human race. I mean, come on humans, the dinosaurs were here first.

You need skill to take down a number of these dinosaurs, otherwise you will get eaten. Working as a team is the only way to keep these beasts at bay, proving they are not the weaklings they appear to be.

He breathes fire! And hes huge!

He breathes fire! And he's huge!

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A Jurassic Challenge

Dant April 2nd, 2009

Frustration is an emotion gamers are very well-versed in. Since the very advent of games, there has been reason to want to break something in sheer anger. I’m sure many of us remember firing up a gaming console as a child, inserting a game, and enduring the age-old battle of convincing yourself not to throw the controller at a wall. One game that often comes to mind for me is Jurassic Park for the Sega Genesis. Sure, it’s a game based on a movie, but back then that wasn’t always a bad thing.

My parents loved Jurassic Park because it would often get me to go outside now and again. Whenever I played it, I’d reach a level of anger that could only be culled by the fresh air found outdoors. It wasn’t that the game was bad; it was just impossibly difficult for my yet-to-be-developed gaming skills. Or that’s the excuse I still tell myself.

At the very least, I enjoyed admiring the dinosaurs. Sure, they were roaming with the sheer intent of killing me, but the grace with which they constantly achieved this goal was worthy of my childish admiration. In fact, I often chose the option to play through the game as a raptor, which admittedly made the game a bit easier in the long run. Being a human is great and all, but fulfilling my childhood dream of being a dinosaur was not something I could easily refuse.

As mentioned before, Jurassic Park for the Sega Genesis is not a bad game. It’s campy in every sense of the word, but not without its charm. Perhaps the greatest part about Jurassic Park is the lesson it teaches to people everywhere: fighting dinosaurs is never an easy endeavor.

No caption needed for this picture to be enjoyed

No caption needed for this picture to be enjoyed

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RAWR! Said The Dinosaur. I Have Arrived!

Wardrox April 2nd, 2009

It’s 227 million years ago. The Upper Triassic period is starting. Coloradisaurus‘ are roaming around peacefully, chomping on trees. The NES is still considered next-gen. There are lots of rocks.

“RAWR!” Came the booming call from across the sandy plains. The other dinosaurs took note. “I have arrived!”

Welcome to DinoPad.com. This is a video game blog. But it’s more specific than that. There are thousands of video game blogs out there so why bother starting a new one, and what makes this one so special anyway?

There is only one real answer to that: Dinosaurs.

This blog is all about dinos and video games. Big ones, small ones, omnivores, carnivores, retro, current-gen etc. They can all find a place here.

But it’s not just myself bringing you all the news, reviews and articles you would ever need (arguably more than you could ever need) about dinosaurs and video games. Here is the awesome team making it all not just possible, but very awesome too:

RAWRWardrox

I’m the guy who accidentally made this place after a joke that was made on The Podcastle (A “brit-pop” podcast for Destructoid). I love video games and a I love small blogs/communities which cover ground no other sites cover. I’m the founder of DinoPad’s sister (or brother?) site NegativeGamer.com and aim to use my masive pro-journalism skills here to achieve great, dinotastic success.

RAWRGary

Hi, my name is Gary (more commonly known as garison on the internet). I am from the middle of nowhere, so basically what I do is hang out on the internet to pass the time. When I heard Wardrox was scowering the internet for writers willing to contribute to a ’secret project’, I was all in.

I’m very excited to write for DinoPad. I think we could all write some pretty awesome dino-related stories on here. See you all IN THE FUTURE! … well … if dinosaurs don’t all raise up and take over the earth that is …

RAWRJordan

OK, so, my name is Jordan, I go by ‘Corican’ on the internet and on the PSN. I’m 20 years old, and I’m studying English Language at Cardiff University in Wales (in the UK). I have a Laptop, DS and a PS3. I really love the PS3 and spend too much time on it. I also do a lot of rock climbing which I really enjoy and I’m looking forward to travelling around the world with my friends after I leave university.

I remember the day when I first urged Wardrox to create this site, I knew then that greatness would come of it. It is an honour and a pleasure to write for the greatest dinosaur-themed games blog.

RAWRDant

My name is Dant Rambo and I write for specialtygamer.com and decoymusic.com. Since I was just a wee lad, I thought that dinosaurs were the coolest beings to ever roam the planet. Everybody knows that they’re the greatest extinct creatures since sliced bread, but their presence in media remains sorely overlooked.

For that reason, I see it as the responsibility of the writer to document their history as well as track their presence in modern times. Though specific focus will be on their appearances in the realm of gaming, I know all the writers here will also aim to broaden the focus and discuss their presence in other mediums as well. I hope you enjoy what we all have to say!

RAWRChris

Rawr! I’m Chris, informally known as Fusion. I like dinosaurs (especially the old Jim Henson sitcom Dinosaurs) and video games and as such I thought to combine my passions for them all into one big rawrsome package.

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RAWR

Wardrox March 12th, 2009

Dinosaurs and video games, all in one place. RAWR

Now please pardon the prehistoric dust as we set things up.

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